அவன் அவள் எவனோ ஒருவன்

இது ஒரு காதல் கதை. நமது நாயகன் சாரங்கபாணிக்கு அமுதா மேல் கொள்ளைப் பிரியம். அவளுக்கும் அப்படித்தான். எப்பொழுது இந்தப் பக்கம் அந்தப் பக்கம் அவனை தாண்டிச் சென்றாலும் மெல்லிய புன்னகை பூத்துதான் செல்வாள். ஆனால் அவர்களிடையே ஒரு முக்கியத் தடங்கல் ரமேஷ் தான். அவன் சொல் பேச்சு கேட்டுத்தான் சில சமயம் தன்னை பார்க்க அமுதா வரவில்லை என்று கூட ஒரு சந்தேகம் உண்டு சாருவுக்கு.

சாருவை சில மாதங்களாகத் தான் அமுதாவிற்கு தெரியும் என்றாலும் மிக நெருக்கம் அவன். அவனது பூ போன்ற முகமும் கள்ளம் கபடமற்ற மனசும் தான் அவளை வெகுவாய் கவர்ந்தது. ரமேஷின் அன்பு வேலியை அசைத்து பார்த்ததும் அதுதான். மேலும் சாரங்கபாணி ஒரு வாயில்லா பூச்சி. அவனுக்கு அமுதாவை கண்டாலே பேச்சு வராது. அதனால் அவன் மேல் அமுதாவிற்கு இன்னும் பாசம் அதிகம். அவனும் எத்தனையோ முறை முயற்சி செய்து விட்டான் ஆனால் அவளை பார்ததால் ஒட்டிக் கொள்கின்றன உதடுகள்.

ஆனால் ரமேஷ் அப்படியில்லை, ஆங்கிலம், தமிழ் இரண்டிலும் சரளமாக பேசுவான். நினைத்ததைப் பட்டென்று சொல்லி விடுவான். அவனை போல் பேச சாரங்கபாணி தொடர்ந்து முயற்சித்தான். ஒரு நாள் தன் தைரியத்தை எல்லாம் வரவழைத்துக் கொண்டு வீட்டில் ரமேஷ் இல்லா நேரம் பார்த்து அமுதாவிடம் தன் காதலை சொல்லி விட்டான். அமுதாவிற்கு ஒரே அதிர்ச்சி.

அமுதா பதறிப் போய் ரமேஷை உடனே தொலைபேசியில் அழைத்து ‘என்னங்க!! நம்ம சாரு இன்னிக்கு என்னப் பார்த்து முதமுறையா ”அம்மா”ன்னு கூப்பிட்டாங்க’ என்றாள்.

A long lunar eclipse

I know...I know what you are thinking, "Wasn't that a solar eclipse that created waves a couple of days back?, so why the title?". No, this is a lunar eclipse, you may not have seen this on CNN or BBC or in any channel for that matter, because its only in my life. My moon, My son, Shashank left to India today with my wife and parents. I won't be seeing him for at least a month, that being the optimistic chances of all.

I console myself that it is the price I pay for the money I earn but heart doesn't quite get it. All it knows and wants is that smiling face that comes rushing to the door on hearing a familiar voice. Well, no one will come so now. I guess I won't be rushing home either. He isn't here but everything that I see, the strollers and child seat in the closet, the 'happy 1st birthday' wall hanging, the cute foto in which my wife is cuddling him, the remote controlled car hidden under the bed, baby on board sign on the car and the tea table along which he walks reminds him.

Whenever I am out, he knows, he checks the bedroom closet once in a while to see if I am hiding there. I did check to see if he is hiding in there, but no, he isn't. Where will he check in the new place, he doesn't know that he is so far away from his dad. But it will be on his mind, he will know that he is missing his 'someone special'.

I have felt lonely at times, at different points of life. But, this loneliness is different, first time when I came to US, yes I did leave my parents but fell into a circle of friends. Next time around, my wife was with me to take care of me when I came away to US. But this time, it is different. This isn't the first time I am away from my parents, but it is the first time I am away from my kid as a parent. A bit of my own medicine for myself, or may be its only justice that is meted out for being away from my parents. Life is fair.

One thing is for sure, loneliness is not lonely now, I am here for its company.

Vj

Dell, my darling...

For those of you who are not aware of a typical software engineer's day, here is a quick view. Wake up late, get-wet-in-a-minute bath, get dressed in a hurry, skip the breakfast or waste half of it, reach office(sleeping if on a bus or messaging while driving), glue your fingers to a PC, interleave the work between coffee breaks, lunch break and net surfing and drive back home. There are some exceptions like the slog-it-out till midnight or warm the bench all day but I guess they are less now that companies are pinching hard for a penny. Now, to the story...

What happens when we come back home? Do we sit down, relax, take a nap or go for a stroll with family or friends? May be some of us do, but I am yet to see one of them. Most of us sit down with our handsome friend, our all time favourite, classic time eater, the one and only laptop. Now, why do we do that? Didn't we want to get away from the computer at office? Didn't we wait for our day in front of a PC to come to scratching halt? Lets dig deep to see if we get some answers.

With a coffee on the table, relentless wife or mother calling for our attention, we logon to our mail a/c. Dutifully delete all spam and promotional emails, read all the mails in our friends group, then we take a sip on that hot-then-cold-now coffee with our one hand, while the other types a (x)ollywood rumour site on the web address bar. Then we hop on to a sports site, a political news site, a social n/w site and complete our chaotic surfing pattern after an hour or two.

Now, this needs some serious introspection. We crave to get away from the office computer but we are happy to sit down and spend meaningful time in a meaningless way when we could spend it with someone who needs our time or to read a book or to develop a new skill or even to learn a new language. Or we could see if we can do what we do using computers without them. Sure, that was confusing enough. In other words, we could call up a friend instead of tweet-ing or orkut-ing or facebook-ing them. Sure we all have some hundreds of friends in all these sites, but how many do we really care about. How many do we really want to share our lives with? Very less, probably. Some of us might be obsessed with laptops due to restrictions at office but that being the reason is very less.

Laptops, computers and mobile phones all came into our lives to make things easier, now we are addicted to them. I am not for one to throw them all away from our lives, but limit their participation in our lives. Bring in some human element in your life after office hours. Join your wife or parents or grandparents or kids on a walk, share your day with them. Help your mind get relaxed, free your fingers from stress and start up your life by shutting down that laptop.

Vj

Happiness is...

Not when you earn money, save money but spend some. During childhood days, like everyone else, I used to expect my parents to take me outdoors, to a movie, to a park or a trip to our native town. I felt happy when we went out as a family to any such place. My sister and I had the habit of demanding a lot of things when we go out for dinner, like taking auto (transportation similar to taxi) instead of the bus ride back home. We did not realize the pinch on our parents' wallets then, we were happily ignorant of that. Later,we realized it.

Now, in my life, when I get a chance to bring my parents out (not only out of their home, out of their usual world) to a different country, I feel a sense of pride. We (my wife and myself) feel happy that they get to experience their first flight journey. The feeling we get when we drive them around in a car with them relaxing in the rear seat is not so easy to explain with words, must be felt for you to understand.

We take care of all their needs and necessities when they are with us here. We take them out to famous tourist places, temples, parks and dinner or lunch at hotels. All this just struck me to see how lucky we are to make them happy similar to how they did.

Sure, nothing is free of cost. So when my parents say, why such a costly trip son, that shirt looks expensive, lets not dine out. I just feel like saying, "Mom, dad, certain things in life are priceless".

So, between your savings and checkings, do some spending too.

Vj

The longest day...

7th July 2008

This day marks the beginning of a new chapter in our life, the chapter of parenthood. When we all went to bed last night after watching Spiderman-3, we had no clue of the events that unfolded today. It was around 2.30A.M when Anu woke me up and asked me to call up the doctor. She started feeling some pain in the lower abdomen. After bringing myself to a steady state, I called up the doctor's office. We waited for around 15 minutes before the doctor gave us a call back after being paged by the nurse. Doctor asked us right away to go to the hospital.

We packed certain essential things and started to Chilton hospital around 3.40A.M. We checked in at the maternity department and Anu was admitted in. I was allowed to be with her in that room while my in-laws had to wait outside the department. I went and updated them whenever I got a chance. Initially couple of nurses attended her and after all the routine checks, they confirmed that Anu is going to have the baby today. Anu was very much afraid and tensed on knowing this. None of us had expected it, we thought that we will return home after a shot or some medication to relieve her pain. The baby wasn't due for another 1 month, he was supposed to be born on 08/08/08 as an olympic baby.

We were informed by the nurses that the baby may not come home with us as he might need help breathing and might be kept in special care due to early delivery. This added more tension and worry to all of us though I convinced Anu to think about the probability of he being normal. Anyway, I said 'lets get through the delivery first and hope he breathes fine'.

As the time went by, Anu's pain started increasing. She got shifted to her delivery room and in-laws were allowed to be with us till the morning shift nurses take charge at 7A.M. Anu couldn't bear the pain as contractions started to occur frequently. After repeated inquiries to the nurses about the arrival of the doctor, they assured that the doctor will be in by 8A.M. Doctor came in, examined Anu and asked Anu whether she would take an Epidural to numb her abdomen area. She gladly nodded yes for she had suffered far too much pain in a short span of time. She took the epidural and fell asleep from the tiredness of fighting with the contractions since 4A.M.

While Anu took some rest, I made calls to mom and dad to inform the news. They were happy, excited and tensed about how we will manage. We made calls to Anu's grandpa and uncle in bangalore. We told them that we would keep them updated on the progress. We had some breakfast for the sake of having it. Anu woke up after some 2 hours of sleep around 10.30A.M and felt hungry. She had some snacks but was too afraid about delivery to eat further. I stayed next to her all the time and assured her that she will come through fine with the baby. I knew she will, if I am there to help her.

Around 11.30P.M, we were informed that doctor will come soon and prepare things for delivery. Meanwhile Anu was making fine progress with her contractions. Nurses told us that the doctor is going to take care of the delivery for another lady before attending Anu. We waited for nearly two and a half hours before doctor came in. She asked Anu to breathe heavily and keep pushing the baby out. Three nurses and I were there helping Anu to push when the contractions occur.

From 2.20P.M, Anu started pushing out the baby heavily and slowly he started coming out. After 45 minutes of continuous pain and pressure, Anu delivered him at 3:06P.M. To add to the shock of early delivery, he surprised the doctors and nurses with his good health condition. They said he does not need any special care as his breathing is fine. Anu and I had tears at the edge of our eyes once he was born. The nurses cleaned him up and gave him to me. I showed him to Anu and congratulated her. She wished me as well. Then I rushed to inform my in laws who were unaware of the progress and eagerly waiting to hear the news any time. I couldn't stop the tears of joy when I broke the news to them. We had decided his name as Shashank only a few days back. Shashank means moon, for a change, the moon landed on earth.

12 hours of relentless suspense and tension, all washed away in the river of joy on seeing him, his tiny body parts.

Vj

Completing 1 year of M.P Course

Our son Shashank is one year old today. We are happy considering what all we had to give up in the past one year to watch him grow. The first few months were manageable with Anu's parents helping us both in taking care of the baby and the household work. Though those months involved intermittent sleep patterns for both of us. Some days, it will be a full blown cry for reasons we couldn't understand. With the help of in-laws, we succesfully completed 4 months of parenthood.

The toughest part in this first year was the period immediately after my in laws went back to India. We had to go early to bed and wake up early to sync up with Shashank's sleep patterns which we did. As I used to come home for my lunch, Anu got her reprieve, for an hour at least. We had to hold him in our laps and stuff our lunch down the throat as soon as possible. Nothing is as unpredictable as child's behavior, everyday we were in for a surprise. There will be days where he won't lie down at all in the afternoons, some days it will be 30 minute of nap every 2 hours, some days he will sleep sound through the afternoons. It all depends on, well, we don't know what, that is why I called it unpredictable in the first place. In the evenings, we had to wash the dishes from our lunch, sterilize the bottles, feed him, make the dinner, wash the dishes again and go to bed before 10.30 or 11. It meant tight work for both of us especially after 6 months of continuous help from our in-laws from all aspects of household work. If you had a good day at work, you can be sure that your day at home that evening will compensate for that.

Once I shifted to my new job in February this year, Anu lost her one hour reprieve during lunch time. It was not unusual for Anu to get frustrated with him and skip her lunch or just stick to snacks during lunch time. And our occasional quarrels in the evenings in taking care of him died down slowly. This way it continued and things got better and better after 7th or 8th month. We got 4 or 5 hours of continuous sleep at nights before his first feed at night. We got time for ourselves in the evenings to have a chat. The last two months of his first year were thoroughly enjoyable with my parents being here and taking care of us.

We feel proud now to have given up small materialistic things (like going to theatre), watching cricket or movies online, just browsing, aimless shopping and many more to watch Shashank crawl, sit, stand, laugh, cry and grow into a big one year old boy. I am sure there are many more challenges that parenthood is going to throw at us and we will face them with a smile. This day last year, I was a happy man and I continue to remain so today.

PS: M.P stands for Master of Parenthood. This is my first post, so all your kind reviews are welcome.