Justice - How just is it?

Definition of justice - 'Quality of being just or fair'. I state this here so that we are in no confusion as to what justice means after examining some of the cases dealt by the Indian judiciary system.

The case that is now making headlines in the news hungry Indian press & TV media is that of a 14 year old girl Ruchika Girhotra's. Some 19 years ago, she was sexually assaulted by SPS Rathore in 1990s Haryana (a police inspector). Rathore was found guilty after a long and delayed trial and was awarded (or should I say rewarded) 6 months sentence and Rs.1000 despite having an eye witness. To add to his achievements, he got out on bail without serving that 6 months sentence. 3 years after the incident, the girl committed suicide successfully (had she failed, she could have been sentenced to a max of one year in prison, what an irony!!).

After 16 years of protests and fights by the victim's friends and family, Indian govt has woken up and has informed the case will be re-opened to punish all that are involvedand used as a model case. Hope only the punishment to be meted out is used as the model and not the delay! Please google for other atrocities he did to her family in the aftermath of the incident.

Cases like this shake up the very basic pillar of our judiciary system. I can understand the lack of food, lack of medicines, lack of schools/colleges in a developing country but why is there a lack of justice. I am not worried if my country's GDP goes down, stock markets crash, banking system collapse,health care system fails but I am very much concerned if the law and order is not preserved by serving justice in the right measure at the right time. Otherwise, there is nothing in the country that is worth for people in the right mind to live for. They might as well begin to break the law.

Case 1: Sentence served and revoked

Just two years before I entered my college life (in 1996/97), a ragging case shocked college asiprants like me to the spine. The murder of Navarasu, a first year medical student in a gruesome way. His body parts were distributed through out the city, allegedly by his senior John David. After a speedy trial (around 15 months), John David was found guilty and a deserving sentence was served. Note that there was a packed court during the sentence.

http://www.indianexpress.com/ie/daily/19980312/07150374.html

Not sure how many of those people know that John David is now out in the society, free as a bird. Apparently, evidence was not sufficient, so this happened in 2001.

http://www.hinduonnet.com/2001/10/09/stories/0409223w.htm

What is it that changed in between 1998 and 2001? Hmmm, as far as I know, the Tamilnadu government. I know what you are about to ask. Were the police officials who were recommended for CM award in 1998 for solving the case returned their medals (assuming they got it) in 2001? Sorry, I don't know about that valuable piece of information.

Case 2:Sentence was served, is being served and will be served...

Indian Parliament was attacked by L-e-T and J-e-M and Mohammed Afzal was convicted in 2004 and given a death sentence to be executed in 2006. So, is he dead now?

Oh boy, don't be so fast!! The execution was stayed and a mercy plea has been submitted. Indian Govt needs to send its recommendation to the president for all such mercy plea requests. According to a news report (http://www.indianexpress.com/news/decision-on-afzal-gurus-mercy-plea-may-take/482987/), Afzal is number 22 in a list of 28 mercy pleas pending and the home ministry is planning to handle only one such petition every month. So, it will be at least June 2011 before the petition moves to the president's hands. May be if the attacks had involved killing the prime minister or a bunch of cabinet ministers, they wouldn't take so much time acting on mercy plea. It seems that the President has no time bounds to act on such requests. Why would the President run the risk of losing her second term (around 2012) by taking any decision on this?

Result, the mercy plea will be hanging in the air for some merciful president to come along and mercifully reduce the death sentence to life sentence. And, a couple of years later, he will be released on 150th birthday of some merciful leader.

Case 3: Will the sentence ever be served?

Lalu Prasad Yadav's efforts of turning around Indian railways was planned to be made a study for Harvard graduates. If there is a course on how to embezzle government money in a smart way, Lalu's multi-million dollar fodder scam in 1996/97 could very well be the fodder for it. It was the one of the most elaborate and lengthy scam in Indian history and deservingly it will get a lengthy trial as well. Around 200 people have been convicted till now and sentenced to 2 to 7 year rigorous imprisonment with some puny fines levied.

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/10-convicted-sentenced-in-multimillion-fodder-scam/84908-3.html

I wonder when the cases against Lalu will come to judgement day and I hope it is sometime before he grabs a post in the central govt or state govt. He is already 62 and by the time they hand out a sentence, he may not have enough life left in him to serve it out.

These are just few that have caught our attention through the media coverage. There are many more such unsolved, in-trial cases that were once the talk of the nation. Last but not the least, the trial of 26/11 terrorist attacks are continuing into its 7th month and the only accused suddenly revealed the truth. That he did not take part in the shootings, he is being wrongly accused and he came to Bollywood to act in movies. (http://www.deccanherald.com/content/41937/i-came-mumbai-act-films.html)

Sure you did, and may be 26/11 was a movie shooting for you and just that you happened to use a real gun by mistake, we understand and we thank god there were no re-takes. Remember, you are living out of our tax money, now just don't take us for fools, Okay?

To summarize, unless we more special courts or add judges to clear the pending cases (around 54000 in supreme court alone), law breakers will not think twice before committing a crime. Our neighbor China is very fast in serving criminal justice, around 7000 death sentences ordered every year and 1700 executed. Now, I am not saying that is good, I just wanted to point out the contrast.

A tribute to the Master!!

It has been 20 wonderful years since our little Master had his debut on the big stage. I have been among the lucky to have a large part of these 20 years coincide with my prime years of interest in cricket. I have always admired at his cricketing skills but now I wonder how that is only a small part in his great achievements. The largest part, of course, is his motivation. What on earth possibly keeps him going till date? Let us see.

He has shattered all the possible batting records of other players, active and retired. Most centuries, Most runs in Test, Most runs in ODI and whatever you name. To but it in better perspective, statisticians and experts are coining new categories to hail him as its sole member. Like the other day I read, he became the first to score 30000 international runs. Of course, he is the leading run scorer in ODIs and Tests individually, so, isn't it a bit obvious? Come on, get innovative, how about, 'Sachin became the first player to score fifties on all Fridays in a calendar year!!'. So, thats how depleted the cricketing records are now in highlighting maestro's magics.

Maybe, these kind of stats would have driven him till he broke a few of them, but not to the point where there are no records to break. Could money have been his motivational factor? He has the most number of endorsements and I believe he has been the richest paid cricketer for many years, if not in the current one. Going by his philanthropic activities, I gather his motivation could not be earning more money. And he could have made more of it, when his teammates tried to seal the outcome of matches outside the stadiums.

Sachin was asked to open a library even before he made his Intl' debut and his coach was afraid that such events would make him feel that he has already achieved everything. (Source: An article by Harsha Bhogle posted in Cricinfo). He rocketed to such a stardom in his teens that for any others of his age would have proved too much to handle. Like money, fame can simply make you blind. But, he hasn't given in to fame, seen by his simplicity during TV interviews or post match conferences. So, fame is neither the motivation that we are looking for.

It is just his plain desire to play cricket, much like a school boy's desire to play gully cricket in the summer holidays, every single day. He enjoys playing cricket so much that the other things like his records, his endorsements, etc., fall by the wayside and don't distract him. His devotion to cricket is comparable to that of the artists who keep repeating their spellbound performances in a Broadway play. One never has to worry about work if he/she chooses a profession they love. Well, that sums up Master's dedication to cricket!!

Nostalgia!!!

Its that time of the year when there is no end to the fun, when you hear noises all around though people live in peace, when you see bright colors and lights all around the town, when you see people tick off items on their wish-list, yes, it is Diwali time!! Though there are many festivals and functions that are celebrated in India, none of them is as joyous or wide-spread as this one. For outsiders, Deepavali is a function celebrating the killing of a bad guy (Narakasuran) by Lord Krishna (Hindu mythology). It is celebrated by bursting crackers, lighting lamps, wearing new clothes and distributing sweets.

The word 'Diwali', or 'Deepavali' as pronounced in my mother tongue brings only happy memories from childhood to my mind. It might be the case for most of us. The first time we talk about Deepavali is when we get the school handbook, to check if Deepavali falls on a weekday so that we get a holiday!! There is something about Deepavali that brings out the passion in everyone. It might be the new clothes for some of us, laxmi vedis (crackers) and atom bombs for some and just the idea being at home eating sweets for a lot of us.

When Deepavali got closer, most of us would have pestered our parents to find out when we were going to shop for those new clothes. Once we get the date, we would wait for it as if our entire life depended on it. On that day, we would go out shopping as a family and buy new clothes for all. The deepavali shopping would inevitably end in a dinner at the restaurant and a ride to home happily asleep in auto-rickshaw.

Then comes the next big thing. Crackers!! There is a kind for everyone in that. Girls and Moms in the house might like Busvaanams (flower pots) and Sangu chakkarams (Chakras) whereas brave boys would like to go for laxmi vedi, kuruvi vedi, atom bombs and rockets. Heated discussions and fights were sure to arise among siblings and with parents in preparing the budget and list of crackers to be bought. And those lunch time comparisons with school mates on how much crackers each of us had bought.

On the eve of the function, we go early to bed to make sure we get up early. We would be pulled out of the bed and given an oil bath. Then we rush to wear that new dress and show it off to everyone at home. Personally, I was in a big joint family with my aunt, uncle and cousins in a single home, so I used to get everyone's blessing and the five rupees/ten rupees that come along with it. That was our only earned money to buy something that we like. We go out to the doorstep, burn all those crackers, get exhausted and come in to have a sumptuous meal. Vada, Laddu, Payasam... that list never ends.

The fun doesn't usually end there, we would go up to the terrace or some other place in the after lunch hours, to crack off all those bijili vedis with our friends or next door kids. We even kept some crackers to be burnt later in the month during Karthigai deepam. The next day, our routine life resumed but we would not miss a chance to wear that Deepavali dress to our school (at least, our school allowed it) to impress our class Juliets. Oh, I miss those good old days!!

Nowadays, Deepavali isn't that much fun, at least to me, I don't know if it is something to do with me or not. The passion and enthusiasm with new dresses are long gone, sweets are just namesake with most of watching waistlines, and its been nearly 10 years since I burnt crackers for Deepavali. Good grief, I don't even know what is the latest on crackers. Maybe some 'Green' Laxmi Vedi has come up which will emit less smoke!!

I am more than contended to spend my whole day watching star interviews and numerous films, with most of them being 'Ulaga tholaikatchigalil mudhal muraiyagaa...'. Though it has been 4 years since my last Deepavali at home, I am not sure if I will ever get that child in me to enjoy the Deepavali as I used to. Maybe my son will help me re-kindle the passion in Deepavali in a few years!!

My Top 10 favorite movies!!!

Right from my childhood, I have been a movie buff. Movies have been my only pastime at several points of time in my life. When I was in India, I confined myself to regional movies. Only after coming to US, I started watching English movies. Thanks to our free public library, I would have seen at least half of Top 250 movies on IMDB amongst others. I thought it would be fun to list my top 10 movies of all time with the reason why I like them. As it turned out, there was a big fight in my mind as to which one will get a spot and which one will not.

These are not listed in any specific order of greatness, it is just the order these movies came to my mind.

12 Angry men - Sidney Lumet

One can understand the greatness of this movie by the simplicity of the story line. A jury decides on the guilt or innocence of the defendant. Simple, isn't it? But, how this is developed into an intriguing 100 min movie by using 12 different facets of human mind. None of these 12 characters could be called similar, hence none of them could be done away with. Each one contributes to the movie in equal proportions, crisp writing and masterful direction takes the movie to a great height. My favorite juror is juror #4. I never think twice to see it once again. Even the Russian remake of this movie, called '12' was good, but in its own right.

Following - Christopher Nolan

This is a less known movie from the well known director. Can a movie with a running length of just 70 minutes have all the elements of a thriller and be made so much interesting? Oh my god!! The non-linear narration creates a feel that the movie is longer than what it is. With just three characters, the director keeps everyone in suspense till the mind blowing climax. The non-linear narration is something that you will definitely associate with the director on seeing Memento and The Prestige. Just WoW!! You may not see it in your library collection, the only place I was able to get it was Netflix!

The Usual suspects - Bryan Singer

I fell in love with Kevin Spacey's acting after seeing this movie. He plays it very cool, subtle, low voiced like a real criminal caught by the police. There is no clue shown in the movie anywhere to indicate that twist in the climax. Once you see that last minute collage of scenes where we get the hints, you feel you have been fooled along with Agent Kujan. The other actors contribute to a good effect as well. The only twist in the movie comes in the fag end, Kevin's narration of incidents is so good that it keeps us glued till the end.

Shawshank Redemption - Frank Darabont

This movie is long, slow paced with not so many twists but still it shines bright among all. Right from scene 1, you become empathetic with Andy Dufresne. The film gives a great message 'Never lose hope!' to everyone. Freeman's voice-over through out the movie is excellent and engrossing. One of those rare films where lines linger on your mind when you are done watching the movie. Lines like 'Andy Dufresne who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side' and 'I was honest through out my life, I had to come to jail to became crooked' are just simply wonderful.

Ocean's Eleven - Steven Soderbergh

Cool!! The only word that comes to my mind when I want to talk about this movie. Cast, pace, music and dialogues are all so apt in this movie and they make you love this movie instantly. I never get bored watching this movie, anyplace, anywhere, anytime. They made this movie so good that even the crew themselves weren't able to better it with sequels. A great time-pass movie!!

Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (Spirited away) - Hayao Miyazaki

I am not a great lover of animation movies but this one just blew me away. This movie is very thrilling and has some innovative story telling. You just start liking the movie in a few minutes into it and it shows that you can even do these kind of movies in animation. There are a couple of other good animation movies from the same director. He is the master of animation. Hats off!! Don't miss it!!

Godfather II - Francis Ford Coppola

On seeing this movie at this place, you would have completely believed that these movies aren't in any order. I mean, who doesn't like Godfather. Now I don't want to combine them both and say Godfather trilogy, each has its own driving points. But my pick is Godfather II, it has the best acting from two greats, De Niro and Al Pacino and excellent editing. Robert Duvall, an excellent actor of our times, is overshadowed by Al Pacino, but he needs special credit for playing that subdued role so well in the first 2 parts. Anytime, I scroll past the channels and see Godfather I or II, I stop and watch it for some time. Don't you?

Silence of the lambs - Jonathan Demme

Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins - Two best artists competing to steal the show, both deservingly got Oscar for their roles in this movie. There is not much of killing shown, not much of action, but the thrill element and the interaction scenes involving the lead characters are unforgettable. The editing in the scene where Jodie enters the killer's house is one of the best of all times. You won't be left with too many fingernails at the end of this movie.

Duel - Steven Spielberg

This movie produced for TV has all elements of a blockbuster. A man is pushed to the limits by a truck that is chasing him on the highway. The entire movie is on the road, focuses on th chase, how could one make that interesting? Well, if you are Steven Spielberg, you could. Given that he could make such an interesting movie with just two vehicles and one human character at his disposal, no wonder he made Jurassic Park, Schindler's list, Saving Private Ryan among other great works.

The Shining - Stanley Kubrick

No collection is complete without a movie from Stanley Kubrick. One of my favorite directors, I have seen 9 of his 16 movies and I have liked each one of them. This movie just raised the bar for horror movies that only a very few can achieve. It is genuinely scary and thrilling and has an eerie feeling to it. The setting is perfect for such a movie and Stanley doesn't miss the chance to make the most out of it. A must watch for horror lovers!!

It never rains but pours!!

BJP can certainly vouch for that now, misfortunes seem to have been lined up for them. For everyone's benefit, BJP is one of the two main national political parties in India. It all started during the Loksabha (Indian general elections) poll campaign earlier this year.

First, they had differences in nominating their prime ministerial candidate, then intra-party fighting between Arun Jaitley and BJP top brass, Varun followed up with his hate speech, to top it off, Advaniji kept going over his broken record 'Manmohan Singh is the weakest PM' and maybe he was hinting about his health, only God knows? To steal the limelight, there were disputes between CM and ministers in Karnataka and the state govt's inability to act against atrocities committed by SRS. Anyway, none of these incidents helped them to put up a fight against UPA or Congress in particular and hence they were shown the door by Indian electorate.

That loss must have hurt BJP for sure. So, after that we expected some re-grouping and re-building to save the image of the party among masses. Nope, it only got worse. Nobody was ready to take the responsibility or nail down the cause of the defeat. An open acceptance came later from the party lead and each one of the top leaders gave their own reason for BJP's defeat.

Commotion within the party after such a loss took things to a point of no return. Jashwant Singh, Yashwant Sinha and other top leaders came out in open against top BJP office bearers. They tried to resolve their internal disputes in public. The streak of such incidents is continuing till date with the latest one being Jashwant Singh's book on Jinnah. What is it that is causing so much issues in BJP? Lack of tolerance, I would say.

How many of these BJP leaders have read the book on Jinnah in full? If BJP announces that the views expressed in the book are Jashwant's personal views and they don't endorse that, then why expel him as a knee jerk reaction? On one hand, BJP claims itself to be a secular party but on the other hand, they couldn't tolerate someone claiming Jinnah to be secular in his book. When someone writes a book on a leader, they have a certain level of freedom to express their point of view. I haven't read the book but if BJP leaders have, why can't they express their reasons to expel him? They themselves keep reducing the chances of getting any votes from non-Hindu communities.

More importantly, all these issues keep detracting BJP from playing the role of a constructive opposition party. There are so many other important issues we have in hand. Several states are in drought, swine flu is spreading across, a few key state elections are coming up but BJP says "No sir, we are busy getting the title of Big Joke Party, please leave us alone".

From my school days - Final part

Ramu was from the state next to ours. He used to speak in English most of the time during classes. We weren't sure whether it was because he wasn't comfortable with the regional language or due to his practice in earlier school. In our school, though the rule was to speak in English all the time, nobody paid a scant regard to it. Only thing beneficial out of it was, teachers used to collect a fine of Rs.1 everytime they caught us conversing in the regional language.

All our teachers pointed Ramu as an example and asked us to speak in English like he did. As majority always wins, we made him talk in the regional language like all of us did ;). Other thing about Ramu was he was very interested in Maths among other subjects. He used to keep working on amateurish vedic mathematics during those days, tricks to quickly multiply numbers and similar things.

As we got along with each other, I started visting Ramu at his house during weekends or holidays. We started spending a lot of time together and all three of us bonded into a close unit. And it continued this way till the end of our tenth grade. After that, we decided to pursue further education in a different school. Due to a gap in communication during the long holidays and due to different advices from relatives and friends, Naresh and I ended up in different schools for the next year. With that, our wonderful 4 years together came to a temporary halt. Ramu joined the same school as I did and at least I had one known friend in my new school.

From that point till date, each of our lives have run in different directions. Each of us took a diverse path in our career and life. During this time, we came across a lot of new friends during our college days and we got introduced to each others' friends. Sure, we added a one or two to our close gang, to write about them, will be a blog for another day. And though its been nearly 5 years since all three of us met, we keep in touch through occasional conference calls. None of us are in our home country now, and our trips to our homes don't seem to overlap at all. But, I am sure the day will come when we will get a chance to remember, rejoice and re-live those fun filled memories.

Yours

Vj

From my school days...

It was the first day of my 6th grade in school. I did all my schooling from kinder garden till the 10th grade in the same school. Though there wasn't a big environment change when I moved into my 6th grade, it sure changed my set of friends. Till my 5th grade, I have had friends, but none very close or none whom I could recall now. It will be pretty much a different guy every year, next to whom I happen to sit.

But in the sixth grade, students from three sections of 5th grade were merged into two. So you know how it is during the school days, guys from the same section tend to stick together, they hesitate to group with guys from a different section. This kind of stuff goes on, at least for some time. And there are interesting little fights that go on when such a merger happens. Like, who will be the winner of arm-wrestling between B section champion and C section champion, who will get the first rank between C section topper and A section topper. As silly as it may look now, as serious it was at that time.

So, when this merger happened, I used to observe a few of the new guys in silence. One guy, in the name of Naresh, in particular caught my attention. There was this guy who was very silent, I mean, I hadn't seen anyone in my school like him till that time. Somehow, I started to develop a liking for him, for the reason he was silent, calm and sturdious. I started talking to him at every chance I got. I used to move to his bench during classes and we used to discuss together about the subjects. And, like that, it continued.

The bond started thickening and we became very good friends during the seventh grade. As we can choose our places at the beginning of the year, we chose to sit next to each other on the first row (we were nerds) in 7th grade. And we pretty much share our entire time in school together studying, playing, teasing and doing all sorts of things a 7th grader would do.

And after a few days, a new guy joined our class. His name was Ramu.K.

(to be continued...)

PS: Names have been changed in the story.

என் தோழி என் காதலி என் மனைவி

தோள் மீது தோள் வைத்து தொடர்கதை பேச

தோழி யாகிறாள் என் உயிர்த் துணைவி

மடி மீது தலை சாய்த்து கவலைகள் எல்லாம் தீர

காதலி யாகிறாள் என் கண்ணின் மணி

என் மீது கண் வைத்து தனக்கும் மேலாய் எனைக் காக்க

மனைவி யாகிறாள் என் மனதின் மகாராணி

அவன் அவள் எவனோ ஒருவன்

இது ஒரு காதல் கதை. நமது நாயகன் சாரங்கபாணிக்கு அமுதா மேல் கொள்ளைப் பிரியம். அவளுக்கும் அப்படித்தான். எப்பொழுது இந்தப் பக்கம் அந்தப் பக்கம் அவனை தாண்டிச் சென்றாலும் மெல்லிய புன்னகை பூத்துதான் செல்வாள். ஆனால் அவர்களிடையே ஒரு முக்கியத் தடங்கல் ரமேஷ் தான். அவன் சொல் பேச்சு கேட்டுத்தான் சில சமயம் தன்னை பார்க்க அமுதா வரவில்லை என்று கூட ஒரு சந்தேகம் உண்டு சாருவுக்கு.

சாருவை சில மாதங்களாகத் தான் அமுதாவிற்கு தெரியும் என்றாலும் மிக நெருக்கம் அவன். அவனது பூ போன்ற முகமும் கள்ளம் கபடமற்ற மனசும் தான் அவளை வெகுவாய் கவர்ந்தது. ரமேஷின் அன்பு வேலியை அசைத்து பார்த்ததும் அதுதான். மேலும் சாரங்கபாணி ஒரு வாயில்லா பூச்சி. அவனுக்கு அமுதாவை கண்டாலே பேச்சு வராது. அதனால் அவன் மேல் அமுதாவிற்கு இன்னும் பாசம் அதிகம். அவனும் எத்தனையோ முறை முயற்சி செய்து விட்டான் ஆனால் அவளை பார்ததால் ஒட்டிக் கொள்கின்றன உதடுகள்.

ஆனால் ரமேஷ் அப்படியில்லை, ஆங்கிலம், தமிழ் இரண்டிலும் சரளமாக பேசுவான். நினைத்ததைப் பட்டென்று சொல்லி விடுவான். அவனை போல் பேச சாரங்கபாணி தொடர்ந்து முயற்சித்தான். ஒரு நாள் தன் தைரியத்தை எல்லாம் வரவழைத்துக் கொண்டு வீட்டில் ரமேஷ் இல்லா நேரம் பார்த்து அமுதாவிடம் தன் காதலை சொல்லி விட்டான். அமுதாவிற்கு ஒரே அதிர்ச்சி.

அமுதா பதறிப் போய் ரமேஷை உடனே தொலைபேசியில் அழைத்து ‘என்னங்க!! நம்ம சாரு இன்னிக்கு என்னப் பார்த்து முதமுறையா ”அம்மா”ன்னு கூப்பிட்டாங்க’ என்றாள்.

A long lunar eclipse

I know...I know what you are thinking, "Wasn't that a solar eclipse that created waves a couple of days back?, so why the title?". No, this is a lunar eclipse, you may not have seen this on CNN or BBC or in any channel for that matter, because its only in my life. My moon, My son, Shashank left to India today with my wife and parents. I won't be seeing him for at least a month, that being the optimistic chances of all.

I console myself that it is the price I pay for the money I earn but heart doesn't quite get it. All it knows and wants is that smiling face that comes rushing to the door on hearing a familiar voice. Well, no one will come so now. I guess I won't be rushing home either. He isn't here but everything that I see, the strollers and child seat in the closet, the 'happy 1st birthday' wall hanging, the cute foto in which my wife is cuddling him, the remote controlled car hidden under the bed, baby on board sign on the car and the tea table along which he walks reminds him.

Whenever I am out, he knows, he checks the bedroom closet once in a while to see if I am hiding there. I did check to see if he is hiding in there, but no, he isn't. Where will he check in the new place, he doesn't know that he is so far away from his dad. But it will be on his mind, he will know that he is missing his 'someone special'.

I have felt lonely at times, at different points of life. But, this loneliness is different, first time when I came to US, yes I did leave my parents but fell into a circle of friends. Next time around, my wife was with me to take care of me when I came away to US. But this time, it is different. This isn't the first time I am away from my parents, but it is the first time I am away from my kid as a parent. A bit of my own medicine for myself, or may be its only justice that is meted out for being away from my parents. Life is fair.

One thing is for sure, loneliness is not lonely now, I am here for its company.

Vj

Dell, my darling...

For those of you who are not aware of a typical software engineer's day, here is a quick view. Wake up late, get-wet-in-a-minute bath, get dressed in a hurry, skip the breakfast or waste half of it, reach office(sleeping if on a bus or messaging while driving), glue your fingers to a PC, interleave the work between coffee breaks, lunch break and net surfing and drive back home. There are some exceptions like the slog-it-out till midnight or warm the bench all day but I guess they are less now that companies are pinching hard for a penny. Now, to the story...

What happens when we come back home? Do we sit down, relax, take a nap or go for a stroll with family or friends? May be some of us do, but I am yet to see one of them. Most of us sit down with our handsome friend, our all time favourite, classic time eater, the one and only laptop. Now, why do we do that? Didn't we want to get away from the computer at office? Didn't we wait for our day in front of a PC to come to scratching halt? Lets dig deep to see if we get some answers.

With a coffee on the table, relentless wife or mother calling for our attention, we logon to our mail a/c. Dutifully delete all spam and promotional emails, read all the mails in our friends group, then we take a sip on that hot-then-cold-now coffee with our one hand, while the other types a (x)ollywood rumour site on the web address bar. Then we hop on to a sports site, a political news site, a social n/w site and complete our chaotic surfing pattern after an hour or two.

Now, this needs some serious introspection. We crave to get away from the office computer but we are happy to sit down and spend meaningful time in a meaningless way when we could spend it with someone who needs our time or to read a book or to develop a new skill or even to learn a new language. Or we could see if we can do what we do using computers without them. Sure, that was confusing enough. In other words, we could call up a friend instead of tweet-ing or orkut-ing or facebook-ing them. Sure we all have some hundreds of friends in all these sites, but how many do we really care about. How many do we really want to share our lives with? Very less, probably. Some of us might be obsessed with laptops due to restrictions at office but that being the reason is very less.

Laptops, computers and mobile phones all came into our lives to make things easier, now we are addicted to them. I am not for one to throw them all away from our lives, but limit their participation in our lives. Bring in some human element in your life after office hours. Join your wife or parents or grandparents or kids on a walk, share your day with them. Help your mind get relaxed, free your fingers from stress and start up your life by shutting down that laptop.

Vj

Happiness is...

Not when you earn money, save money but spend some. During childhood days, like everyone else, I used to expect my parents to take me outdoors, to a movie, to a park or a trip to our native town. I felt happy when we went out as a family to any such place. My sister and I had the habit of demanding a lot of things when we go out for dinner, like taking auto (transportation similar to taxi) instead of the bus ride back home. We did not realize the pinch on our parents' wallets then, we were happily ignorant of that. Later,we realized it.

Now, in my life, when I get a chance to bring my parents out (not only out of their home, out of their usual world) to a different country, I feel a sense of pride. We (my wife and myself) feel happy that they get to experience their first flight journey. The feeling we get when we drive them around in a car with them relaxing in the rear seat is not so easy to explain with words, must be felt for you to understand.

We take care of all their needs and necessities when they are with us here. We take them out to famous tourist places, temples, parks and dinner or lunch at hotels. All this just struck me to see how lucky we are to make them happy similar to how they did.

Sure, nothing is free of cost. So when my parents say, why such a costly trip son, that shirt looks expensive, lets not dine out. I just feel like saying, "Mom, dad, certain things in life are priceless".

So, between your savings and checkings, do some spending too.

Vj

The longest day...

7th July 2008

This day marks the beginning of a new chapter in our life, the chapter of parenthood. When we all went to bed last night after watching Spiderman-3, we had no clue of the events that unfolded today. It was around 2.30A.M when Anu woke me up and asked me to call up the doctor. She started feeling some pain in the lower abdomen. After bringing myself to a steady state, I called up the doctor's office. We waited for around 15 minutes before the doctor gave us a call back after being paged by the nurse. Doctor asked us right away to go to the hospital.

We packed certain essential things and started to Chilton hospital around 3.40A.M. We checked in at the maternity department and Anu was admitted in. I was allowed to be with her in that room while my in-laws had to wait outside the department. I went and updated them whenever I got a chance. Initially couple of nurses attended her and after all the routine checks, they confirmed that Anu is going to have the baby today. Anu was very much afraid and tensed on knowing this. None of us had expected it, we thought that we will return home after a shot or some medication to relieve her pain. The baby wasn't due for another 1 month, he was supposed to be born on 08/08/08 as an olympic baby.

We were informed by the nurses that the baby may not come home with us as he might need help breathing and might be kept in special care due to early delivery. This added more tension and worry to all of us though I convinced Anu to think about the probability of he being normal. Anyway, I said 'lets get through the delivery first and hope he breathes fine'.

As the time went by, Anu's pain started increasing. She got shifted to her delivery room and in-laws were allowed to be with us till the morning shift nurses take charge at 7A.M. Anu couldn't bear the pain as contractions started to occur frequently. After repeated inquiries to the nurses about the arrival of the doctor, they assured that the doctor will be in by 8A.M. Doctor came in, examined Anu and asked Anu whether she would take an Epidural to numb her abdomen area. She gladly nodded yes for she had suffered far too much pain in a short span of time. She took the epidural and fell asleep from the tiredness of fighting with the contractions since 4A.M.

While Anu took some rest, I made calls to mom and dad to inform the news. They were happy, excited and tensed about how we will manage. We made calls to Anu's grandpa and uncle in bangalore. We told them that we would keep them updated on the progress. We had some breakfast for the sake of having it. Anu woke up after some 2 hours of sleep around 10.30A.M and felt hungry. She had some snacks but was too afraid about delivery to eat further. I stayed next to her all the time and assured her that she will come through fine with the baby. I knew she will, if I am there to help her.

Around 11.30P.M, we were informed that doctor will come soon and prepare things for delivery. Meanwhile Anu was making fine progress with her contractions. Nurses told us that the doctor is going to take care of the delivery for another lady before attending Anu. We waited for nearly two and a half hours before doctor came in. She asked Anu to breathe heavily and keep pushing the baby out. Three nurses and I were there helping Anu to push when the contractions occur.

From 2.20P.M, Anu started pushing out the baby heavily and slowly he started coming out. After 45 minutes of continuous pain and pressure, Anu delivered him at 3:06P.M. To add to the shock of early delivery, he surprised the doctors and nurses with his good health condition. They said he does not need any special care as his breathing is fine. Anu and I had tears at the edge of our eyes once he was born. The nurses cleaned him up and gave him to me. I showed him to Anu and congratulated her. She wished me as well. Then I rushed to inform my in laws who were unaware of the progress and eagerly waiting to hear the news any time. I couldn't stop the tears of joy when I broke the news to them. We had decided his name as Shashank only a few days back. Shashank means moon, for a change, the moon landed on earth.

12 hours of relentless suspense and tension, all washed away in the river of joy on seeing him, his tiny body parts.

Vj

Completing 1 year of M.P Course

Our son Shashank is one year old today. We are happy considering what all we had to give up in the past one year to watch him grow. The first few months were manageable with Anu's parents helping us both in taking care of the baby and the household work. Though those months involved intermittent sleep patterns for both of us. Some days, it will be a full blown cry for reasons we couldn't understand. With the help of in-laws, we succesfully completed 4 months of parenthood.

The toughest part in this first year was the period immediately after my in laws went back to India. We had to go early to bed and wake up early to sync up with Shashank's sleep patterns which we did. As I used to come home for my lunch, Anu got her reprieve, for an hour at least. We had to hold him in our laps and stuff our lunch down the throat as soon as possible. Nothing is as unpredictable as child's behavior, everyday we were in for a surprise. There will be days where he won't lie down at all in the afternoons, some days it will be 30 minute of nap every 2 hours, some days he will sleep sound through the afternoons. It all depends on, well, we don't know what, that is why I called it unpredictable in the first place. In the evenings, we had to wash the dishes from our lunch, sterilize the bottles, feed him, make the dinner, wash the dishes again and go to bed before 10.30 or 11. It meant tight work for both of us especially after 6 months of continuous help from our in-laws from all aspects of household work. If you had a good day at work, you can be sure that your day at home that evening will compensate for that.

Once I shifted to my new job in February this year, Anu lost her one hour reprieve during lunch time. It was not unusual for Anu to get frustrated with him and skip her lunch or just stick to snacks during lunch time. And our occasional quarrels in the evenings in taking care of him died down slowly. This way it continued and things got better and better after 7th or 8th month. We got 4 or 5 hours of continuous sleep at nights before his first feed at night. We got time for ourselves in the evenings to have a chat. The last two months of his first year were thoroughly enjoyable with my parents being here and taking care of us.

We feel proud now to have given up small materialistic things (like going to theatre), watching cricket or movies online, just browsing, aimless shopping and many more to watch Shashank crawl, sit, stand, laugh, cry and grow into a big one year old boy. I am sure there are many more challenges that parenthood is going to throw at us and we will face them with a smile. This day last year, I was a happy man and I continue to remain so today.

PS: M.P stands for Master of Parenthood. This is my first post, so all your kind reviews are welcome.